by: C D Mohatta
This article gives a slightly different slant on the [tag]dynamics of a relationship[/tag] that I outlined in my post Organising Fresh Feelings In A Relationship Can Do… and makes an interesting adjunct to those thoughts. It dwells a little heavily on the ‘give and take’ angle that’s supposed to permeate life… or does it?
Marriage is a beautiful relationship. Unfortunately, during the current years, more marriages are getting broken than ever. People are not able to co exist together in marriage. What are the possible reasons? Why are marriages breaking faster, why are we not getting what we want from marriage? Are our expectations wrong? Or our choice of partner is faulty? Let us find out.
The major [tag]factors that contribute to success in marriage[/tag] are
- Knowing what we desire in the marriage,
- [tag]selecting the right partner[/tag] for fulfilling those desires,
- defining marriage goals and getting approval about them from the partner,
- discussing all the issues that hurt the relationship,
- changing your own style of relating so that marriage becomes stronger and not giving up so easily if cracks develop and try to [tag]save the marriage[/tag].
A [tag]broken marriage[/tag] is not pleasant for any one and hurts.
A marriage is like a cart on two wheels. Both the partners are the wheels. If one wheel becomes weaker or if the wheels are different in size, the cart stops moving. It is similar with marriage. If one partner over dominates or demands more only for himself/herself, the marriage will suffer.
For a marriage to succeed, the partners have to take care of each other’s desires, emotions, physical needs and intellectual needs. Both the partners have to support each other to grow and not criticize each other.
For example, if a partner knows that his/her spouse is weak in a certain area, it is the duty of the other partner to compensate for that and not criticize.
Another factor is [tag]fear of conflict[/tag]. Sometimes, the conflicts become so pain giving that partners avoid talking to each other fearing that a conflict may arise. This fear of conflict will kill all communication.
Instead what is needed is – healthy communication and peaceful resolution of conflicts in a spirit of give and take. Why should a partner be afraid of talking to the other partner in a marriage? That sounds ridiculous, but this is true. This phase spells near [tag]death of a marriage[/tag].
Here is a big resource of articles and advice on marriage and relationships. Some of the articles are -
Should You Marry?
Marriage – Enhancing [tag]Romantic Love[/tag]
[tag]Stopping Extra-Marital Affairs[/tag]
and some articles on relationships are
[tag]Cheating In Relationships[/tag]
Expectations And Relationships
and [tag]Trust In Your Relationship[/tag]
Marriage is a beautiful phase of life. The secret lies in how to carry on for a life time. Learn more here with Marriage and relationships articles and advice.
I like his phrase ‘Marriage is a beautiful phase of life.’ Do you think it can be sustained for a lifetime using the recommended give-and-take dynamics? Or should a relationship actually be a little more selfish… in the sense I suggested earlier? Any thinking you do about this question is bound to spark something positive in the way you look at your own marriage or relationship.
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