A military marriage often faces stressors unlike those confronted by most others. And so do military families. In the light of reports today that a quarter of all America’s homeless are veterans (who make up only 11% of the adult population) there is obviously a military marriage crisis.
The report – Vital Mission: Ending Homelessness Among Veterans – said that 495,400 veterans were homeless at some point in 2006. The Veterans Affairs Department and veteran groups say they are expecting “a tsunami” of homeless veterans from current wars, whose veterans are turning up homeless quicker than veterans of other wars.
It’s perhaps ironic – and timely – that each November, the Armed Services YMCA celebrates Military Family Month to demonstrate the nation’s support for and commitment to the families of military personnel.
“With hundreds of thousands of service members deployed overseas, recognizing the daily sacrifices made by military families has never been more important,” the ASYMCA says.
It runs a variety of programs during the month, but an ongoing one that is receiving enormous gratitude is weekend retreats for the whole family. As an article in Pennsylvania’s Centre Daily Times notes – military families reconnect at retreats.
Frank Gallo, executive director of the organization, said the stress of multiple deployments makes it difficult for families to spend the quality time together that relationships need. Getting couples out of their normal setting of military housing helps them heal.
The retreats have been held at YMCA sites and other spots across the country, including California, Colorado and Hawaii. Grants from the California Community Foundation’s Iraq-Afghanistan Deployment Impact Fund have financed the trips. The foundation is a Los Angeles-based charity organization.
As far as it goes, the idea is good. But perhaps what is also needed is a [tag]military marriage retreat[/tag]. The Daily story includes this quote:
The question is what happens now that they’re together again. “I don’t know what we’re going to do. Can I put up with him for a year?” she asked.
And it’s hardly rhetorical. The featured couple has spent half their 13-year marriage apart because of military deployments, and the tendency to multiple deployments for current personnel suggests they can expect more of the same.
For people living in such dramatically different environments, the strain of cohabiting must be enormous. Military training certainly does not include how to handle such predictable situations. And combat conditions certainly change the individuals exposed to them.
Perhaps the appalling mental health and homeless statistics among veterans could be improved by a focus on military marriage counseling or pre-deployment training and post-deployment marriage retreats. It’s worth a lot of thought.
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