Marriage and hype are not usually connected… but researchers now suggest that the hype surrounding weddings and marriage may be a significant factor in divorce.
So if you ever wondered why half of all marriages end in divorce, this might ring some bells. According to the Journal of Consumer Research, we are more likely to pay attention to disappointment than to the ways in which our [tag]experiences exceed our expectations[/tag].
“Affective misforecasting” is the difference between the way we think we’ll feel and the way we actually do. Vanessa Patrick (University of Georgia), Debbie MacInnis, and C. Whan Park (both, University of Southern California) found that we only pay attention to this difference when something fails to meet our expectations for example, when married life, which we thought would be so wonderful, starts to lose its sheen.
So if your marriage or relationship is not as happy as you thought it would be, they say that chances are your expectations were too high, or perhaps even quite unrealistic.
“This research shows that when we feel better than we anticipated we would, we take it for granted, and it does not influence how we evaluate the product or service [or marriage],” write the researchers. “However, when we feel worse than we thought we would, we sit up and pay attention.”
If you think back on all those hours spent drooling over wedding magazines and romance titles ‘way back when’, where does that leave you? Could they be right, do you think? How realistic do you think your expectations were – compared with the reality, and how you now feel?
Marriage Not As Happy As You Thought It Would Be?
[...] A recent poll on about.com asked more than 1300 people: "Are you happily married?" 40% responded that it 'varies day to day'. Now that's getting closer. [...]