Relationship break up advice seems to pop up everywhere. In fact, every time we turn around there is a new book or magazine article offering someone’s take on a topic which – let’s face it – virtually every one of us will need at some point.
Motivation doesn’t really matter. Whether you want to get your ex back, or just move on with as little pain as possible, it’s a positive step to realize, and accept, that it will take time.
In fact, the length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have, the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new. Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.
Even though we may wish we could at times, we can’t just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we’d been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own.
Relationship break up advice 101: Take Baby Steps
The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don’t call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.
Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic. For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it’s all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done. Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.
If you’ve been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.
No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget.
The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there; it does get better.
